Thursday November 16

Social media has such a unique power. One being to reach so many at once. After trying to tell family and friends on Tuesday I was feeling so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for those who expressed their concern and love for me and my family. But I knew there were still more people I wanted to be aware of our new situation. So I posted on Instagram on Wednesday and then Facebook on Thursday.

It has been such a unique experience. On Monday, Chayse was there holding my hand and at the ready. But I was just feeling empty and alone. I just hurt inside and couldn't seem to pull it out for a little while. I'm guessing it was part shock. But once I opened up and let people know of the situation, I could feel these prayers and thoughts pushing me in the right direction to get better. That's probably the only way to explain it. The love from those I have known for decades or even a few short months, have truly allowed me to keep moving forward.

While I have been getting these IVs I haven't felt alone. I have been braver than usual and been okay. No I'm not great. But I'm not depressed either. I'm just okay and I know the reason is the prayers that have been said for our family and the kind thoughts and deeds as well. Wow. I also feel overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity. I have too long of a list to count those willing to drop everything to watch my sweet babies if I need it. Or vacuum. Or bring us a meal (which we had from Holly on Thursday and Bonnie on Friday).

Seriously, service. What better way to forget about whatever is going on in your own life and just help someone else who might just need a little lift of the spirits or a smile on their face from a kind comment. I feel as if forgetting about myself this week and trying to squeeze in one tiny conversation here, or another ridiculous batch of cranberry sauce here (Chayse asked if I should diversify...oops. Already bought the bags honey). Life isn't worth living if we can't reach out to our neighbors, friends and family. Service is getting me through this right now. As soon as I would stop to think about whatever "bad guy" is attacking my body, I would lose it. Tears and a wandering mind, which is useful at times, but that's just not me. I'm a positive person who wants to see the glass half full and be able to enjoy life with a positive perspective. Those prayers, love and thoughts have really allowed me to do it. May you never be in this situation (I think I'd rather be having triplets right now) but I have felt lifted and comforted from so many I feel very blessed.