Chemo Day 1

Round One. Complete with pictures thanks to Collette!!

This was such a long day. So long, in fact, it seemed as if it were two or three instead. In the morning I had done so well. I was asked to push my appointment back an hour to 10:30 because my doctor was on call the night before and I guess they had forgotten and usually grace those days with an extra hour in case they don't sleep well the night before? I am just thankful there is a doctor on call, each night, that will return your call within 20 minutes to see if you need to go to the ER or just wait until morning and it is something that can be solved over the phone. There is just so much unknown with all this chemo, I am pleased Dr Reese would spend a night a week on call. So I said yes.

The morning went well. I got a few extra things done, but didn't go to the gym because I enjoy a 9:30 class and didn't want to cut it sooo close that I am overwhelmed with stress. I decided to take my normal time to get ready and spend the rest of it with the kids. Helping them dress, brush teeth, get Lux's school lunch together and I also made one for the other kids as well so wherever they were, food would not be a problem. Chayse and I have always been focused on the food aspect of life, making sure we don't go too long between meals. We would even be worried at church and bring snacks, we were that ridiculous. Then by the time we had weened ourselves off of snacks, kids came along and needed some. So back to snacks it was. Hence I needed to make sure the kids would have enough food for 5-8 hours in case they were at a friend's house, the park, just needing to make sure hanger wouldn't overcome them while I was at the cancer center. That made my mama heart a bit calmer knowing they would get that need taken care of without worry.

Back to the cancer center. We showed up right on time for the appointment and it took a good 20-30 minutes to get back to meet with the doctor. He came and spent some solid time answering questions, making sure we felt comfortable with the whole thing. I was in tears of fear, anxiety, worry, hope, concern, and a lot more anxiety. Unfortunately they don't give you meds for that in chemo! My body was just full of so many thoughts. Then about noon we went back into the waiting room to get into the infusion room.

Once getting to the waiting room, my parents were there. We had been told I would get my meds started about 11:30, so they had taken the three over to Carly's house to wait until playgroup at Jessica's from 12:30-2:30. My parents were going to stay with me for a bit, then pick up Pippa about 12:30 for her nap. I was able to get into the infusion room about 12:45 when a chair freed up. There's probably 25-30 chairs in the room, so when it took that long I was just in all sorts by the time we were to go back. Everything about cancer it just confusing to me. I still don't feel like something is harming me. But there is. And it's a terribly vicious thing. Then I have this "port" whom I have dubbed Cathy (port-a-catheter) which they will use to pour drugs into my blood stream. Some say I'll taste it as it goes in. So I kept sucking on these mints some friends gave me, stressing out about some metallic taste I was going to enjoy for two hours. Then I'm in sorts about what to eat. I don't want to get nauseous, so I just wanted to have bland foods and some apple juice. I have to stay hydrated to help the meds to work, but not too much as I don't want to eat. But I am worried to eat too much and have to throw it all up in a few hours when the meds start kicking in. It was just a lot of thoughts going on. Then, topping it all off, I'll get an IV into Cathy and it'll be all good. Just like Pete the Cat.

Well. I made it. I have crossed these other terrible hurdles, and I made it over this one as well. With Chayse as my trusty companion and sidekick, he held my shirt down enough to get to my port and insert a needle through the skin and into this little port that heads into the bloodstream up by my neck. Another worry...I was given lidocane to put on the port site so I wouldn't have to feel any needles. NOTHING! I was told 45-60 minutes before the needle to put it on and cover it with saran wrap to keep it on the skin and from rubbing off. Welp, when it is 120 minutes after putting on the cream I really didn't want to feel anything. But good news!!! I FELT NOTHING! It was a lot in my head and it was finished. Had a sweet mask on while my nurse got the IV started. She washed off the area, prepped it, put the needle in, covered it with the sticky tape to keep it in place and then began the first bag of...something. I think it was a saline something?? I know the other bag was about 30 minutes and it was anti-nausea meds to help with the actual chemo. So for about 40 minutes I am just getting other stuff.


Then the pharmacist came out to chat with us. I found this fascinating. He said that he was the one who made the meds for me and got them ready to come out. The A drug comes out in a large syringe that my nurse Aimee put into my IV. It took about 5 minutes for her to do and we chatted with her while it was going on before the pharmacist came out. It affects the heart mostly, after killing off cells during their sleeping portion of their cell cycle. This helps obviously kill them off and make them incapable of reproducing more bad cells. It turns your pee colors as it is a solid red color. Just very strange to see what was a melted orange popsicle in the toilet no matter how much liquid I drank.


The C drug was intriguing because it comes in a powder form and he measures out just the right amount according to my weight and height. So nope, not every chemo patient is treated equally. And I am thankful. He said something about changing the pressures with each different drug he manages using those gloves in an airtight box. And about cleaning between each stage while making each drug for the patients. Then after getting it measured properly, the drugs are bagged and ready to drip into my IV! He was a very enlightening part of our visit. 


My parents left soon after the drip for the nausea meds started to get Pippa down for her nap just about 1:15. That's when Collette was able to come and visit with us to pass the time by so quickly. It was amazing how much ground you can cover while there are no children around!! Once all the meds were done, I ended up having some weird happenings. I started to get cold all of a sudden (I was snuggly with my blanket, moreso feeling my angels around me than actually needing it) and light headed along with turning white. So I had to be monitored a bit, kept getting my blood pressure checked and laid back until the color started to return. It took a good 30 minutes after everything to feel okay enough to leave. Aimee kept checking my blood pressure, but then we also thought about how much younger I am than the average patient and that if I felt okay to leave, then my nurse would be alright with me leaving. I still stayed a bit longer because everything with just so overwhelming. I didn't leave until close to 3:30 for home.

Once we arrived home I had the most delicious edible arrangement from Stacie, Brittney, Kristen and Maddie, my Georgia Girls that we did a lot of growing up together with. I met Kristen when we were about 8 or 9, and really became great friends early on in high school. Stacie and I met about 11 and spent all of our school years together and Brittney and Maddie came into the picture around 15 or 16 and we just all did a lot of ridiculous things together and just grew up. Having that delicious treat when I got back meant a lot. I was starving. After stressing over food and forgetting to eat after it all was said and done, I was so hungry. I ate a lot of fruit and a sandwich and waited with my sweet three until Lux came home.

I was also blessed to receive a sweet floral arrangement from my Gilmore Girls. Why the name? We met every week our senior year to watch the show. To be honest, I didn't understand it's greatness until years later. I went for One Tree Hill after. But it's where many high school friendships blossomed from chatting between commercial breaks. And the prayers of those women and the beautiful florals made for some great strength during todays long waits.

 About 5 I started to feel quite terrible. It was as if the flu was coming on and I was getting ready to battle. I just felt so crummy. I sat and watched the kids take their baths, get jammies on and brush their teeth. It took so much energy to walk 20 steps into their bedroom and be present for scriptures, prayers and book reading. And don't get me started on trying to head downstairs. My only thoughts at this point were "Is it 9 yet?" and "Can I have my anti-nausea meds yet?" The first thought only came because that's when I could take my next dose. The fear of puking was daunting. I placed my backpack of meds, a nice bowl and some water beside my bed. When it was finally time to close my eyes I was pretty thrilled. But beyond worried about what the next few days would be like. It was just so nice to finally end Day One of my first Chemotherapy treatment.