Monday Dec 4

Oh Monday. Monday morning. It was a long one. I tried to be distracted as much as I could. Lux headed off to school and I went to help the kids cross the street, like I do every Monday morning. Then Zane headed off to school and I took the little girls to the gym with me. And I kind of lost it. I called a friend Kara offered would talk to me and I think I threw her off guard. I just wanted to be comforted in being able to manage this task while still keeping the kids happy and what to say to them. Brooke didn't say much, but I know she was encouraging. I just kept worrying that I only have 5 years tops. I can't. I have so much to teach my kids and places to go. Just the anticipation of a late appointment always gets to me. I kept sweating off some of my stress and then got the girls to go back home.

Kim came over for my kids so we could make the noon appointment with Dr Reese (who is in the office M/T/F). He gave us the two treatments: Negative liver and Positive liver.

Negative Liver:
Curable Stage 3 breast cancer
First Chemo (8 rounds, 2 weeks apart, 16 weeks total)
Surgery (remove lump, reconstruction)
Radiation

Positive Liver:
Manageable Stage 4 breast cancer
2-5 years

We have one solid chance at a cure. So it's an aggressive double dose chemo I'll be receiving. AC/T. The A drug can have heart side effects, so I will be getting an ECHO this week to help monitor my heart through the chemo. The C has a lot of nausea side effects and I will be down on days 3-5 (Friday-Sunday) and then go back uphill from that. Then the T drug will be the last 4 weeks of chemo and not as intense. It'll last about 2-3 hours each time. I will show up, get my blood draws. Then while meeting with Dr Reese my blood will be analyzed and will let me know if I can do chemo. If I can, off to the room I go to get hooked up for the next little while.

He told me my port site will be sore for a few days, but otherwise an easy recovery. PHEW. Now to just get the surgery. He said if the port is placed after chemo, it will be fine and not kill me veins, but that a port would make things much easier for me. He seemed hopeful to get the port placed at the same time as my biopsy so I will continue to believe this to be so!

He wants me to start on Monday or Tuesday.We will decide and then tell the office to get it scheduled.

Also to mention. They are going to use the tissue from my breast biopsy and do some globin test (too bad I can't remember all these big names) to stain the tissue with. It will only take the stain if it is breast cancer. We are still moving forward with how aggressive this cancer is and how quickly it has been multiplying and growing. I have very atypical results with all that has gone on.

SIDE NOTE: We chose Tuesday so that Chayse could have Monday before chemo to catch up on weekend work.

Once having the meeting, I feel good about all that was talked about. I am glad to have some answers. And what was also a pleasing surprise was how wonderfully clean my sister in law McKell made my house with Kim! It was so beautiful and spotless. I've had such a hard time keep up with everything and it was nice to have a clean slate again. Dang bathrooms are always behind! As I got home at 3 after eating some lunch at Habit with Chayse and dropping him off, Kim asked if she could take Zane and Zoey with her to do some Costco shopping. Of course! Why not! So Pippa and I played while waiting for Lux to come home from school. Just as Lux came home and wanted to see if friends could play, we heard some noise going on outside. Zane and Zoey returned with Grandma and Grandpa along with a dozen Christmas light boxes! I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. Then came over the cousins and got set to lighting up our house! At Christmas I love having lights on my house, just like my parents did. Lights are just so magical at this time of year. And I was bummed when only on strand of our 8 icicle lights still worked. So we used the last strand and light up a tree and some bushes in the front yard with what we had left. I figured we should save the money and spend it on chemo and such. But here were such loving family members brightening up my life with something so simple as lights on my house. And they hung them up too!!! I am pretty sure you can see our house from the moon right now and I love it. It is so wonderful to come home to such a beautiful site celebrating our Savior. And then to remember who did this job for me, it just becomes overwhelming to know how much those around me love and care about me and my family.

In the middle of putting up lights, I got a call to schedule my ECHO for Wednesday. Then after all the lights worked properly, two friends came and brought over a delicious meal and I was able to chat with them for a few minutes. After eating dinner, we put the kids to bed and then I went to a belated birthday celebration with girlfriends on my street to just have a good time out. All I can think about is cancer these days, and being among friends that have other ideas of what to discuss is very helpful. We were all able to laugh and enjoy the company and learn new things about each other. I am thankful for friends who are willing to laugh and play and enjoy the company of each other. It was one roller coaster day. But I made it. And there were so many more good than bad contained in these 24 hours.