Saturday December 9

Each time I write the date I am putting November. I feel like I have missed a whole month. I saw November 13 (my diagnosis of cancer date), and then since has been a massive blur of appointments, scans, and needles, along with juggling kids play dates and thinking about homework. A whole lot of thinking. And don't get me started on the UPSTART program Zane is signed up for. Don't think we did a single day last week and they are very observant and religious on their phone calls. Sorry peeps. I missed the required 5 days and 15 minutes. Every day. What can you do to help? Take me to my appointments and watch my son complete the required time. Do I need a better schedule to get in the habit? Yes. I'd love a better schedule. Nothing bothers me more than to be told at what time to arrive for my next doctor assessment or scan. I love it when they say "Our only time slot is tomorrow at 2, smack in the middle of naps, but I know you love getting IVs so we will see you then!" Hmm. 2. That's when I'm prepping for dinner, cleaning, getting my projects done and enjoying some peace. Yes. I'd love to cancel my peace and quiet for some needles.

For today we had very simple plans. Gym in the morning. Rockwell's game at noon. A nap in between and then Raya and Eyla's game at 3. We got the gym. Cleaned up. Made the noon game. Hit up Costco to start my new pharmacy for chemo and be prepped for the typical issues. The pharmacy was obviously closed and couldn't get my nausea meds and needed to return before 6. Headed home about 2 and got the nap in for Pippa. Lux headed to play with her friend Avalynn, and Zoey came along to see her sister Myla. Zane then begged and begged for some video games. They bother me, mainly because I have to help assist and video games are supposed to entertain them without supervision. So Chayse took on that task and I picked up the house and sat around for a little bit, still thinking I need to recover from surgery. 3 came and went and we did not make it to the game. There was some guilt, but we did just go to their volleyball games a few weeks prior and hadn't seen anything of Rockwell yet. While at Rockwell's game, Chayse took Lux, Zane, and Zoey to climb the wall and they really enjoyed that. They have been getting much better each time they attempt the rock wall. I was shocked at how high they made it when it was time to leave the rec center.

About 4, I had the girls come home so Avalynn could prep for her party that night. Lux was so anxious to get back over there so we got her all cleaned up and in her PJs, ready for the pj and movie party at 6. I ran back out to Costco to get my pharma meds (pharma girls, haha, How I Met Your Mother love) and ended up running into Becky and then John and Jessica Leavitt. That's the bonus of small town living (sorry guys, this is small town) being able to see friends when the trip should have taken 30 minutes round trip turns into 90 minutes. But hearing everyone's concerns and caring so much for our family has meant so much these past few weeks. Sometimes I think, it's really not THAT big of a deal with what is going on. But all the giving of your love and prayers and monetary items, it has made this so easy. I do feel the weight of this expedition, but the heaviness that was there before is just not anymore.

Speaking of more kindness, Lux headed off to her party and soon after leaving, our sweet babysitter neighbor Miss Kelsey came over to watch the kids so we could do one last "before chemo" date. I hear that my tastes will probably change and I just wanted to get one last coconut shrimp (or 7) in and some crab legs with those delicious buttery rolls created by Red Lobster. We have always enjoyed that meal and it was just so wonderful to have a beautiful, sweet girl donate some time to us to begin another stage in this ride. I am just so amazed at how much love can be show by so many people.

We got home after an uninterrupted hot dinner (what's that?) and some quality time to a nice, peaceful home. It was a nice Saturday that wasn't what I planned, but I am glad I am learning to roll with the punches and be okay when the plan doesn't go as should. This whole planning phase of my life has been upended and I am doing okay!