Thursday December 7

Oh, biopsy and port day.

I had to start fasting at 8 the morning of {minor} surgery. So obviously when I planned to have few packets of oatmeal, followed by something else, and top it off with something tasty before sticking to water definitely didn't happen. Kids just sense the plan and try their best to diffuse it. I finally got my oatmeal in just before 8 and wanted some toast to myself and made it to 8:10! Win! And I fed the masses while getting them ready for school. I did forget the lunch for Lux, but thankfully I had a $20 to send with her for days like this and fill up on school lunch a few more times.

I usually love going to High Fitness on Thursdays but was afraid of being too hungry afterward. Instead, the three youngest helped me with some special deliveries. They love dropping things off for others and doing my dirty work. And I love that the love it. Once that was complete, I had to jet off to the bank and then the post office before those lines get too terrible. Check and Check! By this time it is almost noon and I have to start getting myself together to head into the hospital. Karen came early to get Zane and Zoey to play with her boy Matthew for a little while and then Kim came by to give Pippa some extra loves. When we put her car seat in Kim's car, Pippa was so excited. Not too excited when she was ushered into the house. So she got her way and did a spin in Grandma's car as we left for the hospital.

My nerves started to get the best of me as we were pulling into the parking lot. I am just anti needles and anything that goes against keeping what is in, in, and everything else out. Just makes sense...but I got checked in and my cute ID bracelet on and then was called to the back. This is when I just got so nervous. I was extra clammy and sweaty and just kept on with my message of "I don't like needles, I am trying, this is very hard for me," Woe is me message I always give. Then I get some nurses coming over for bloodwork and then my IV and whatever else was going on.

Last Thursday (I apparently blocked this one out) I had to get my labs done to scan other cancers to see if those markers were flagged. (None-if you were wondering) Man, I didn't want to do that. Starting off with the beginning of my cold that is probably gone today, getting blood work done didn't seem fun. But as mom was flying out that night, it was an easy time to do it and not have to find someone for the kids and stress about it. I only have the 10 minute drive to stress and then the wait time while there. I brought my trusty headphones that got me through the "cyst" aspiration and my breast biopsy that I thought was never going to end. Put them in and I tell you what, that was the easiest draw I have EVER had. The woman was a miracle worker. She dealt with my tears and I barely felt a thing. As we are heading home, Chayse was humming the song I had on my phone playing. I teased him and then he said something like "I'm pretty sure the whole waiting area knows the song you were listening to." Okay, so I like my music loud.

Now back to biospy/port surgery day. I popped my headphones in and she got to putting the IV in my left arm. I was being so good. Trying my best to be still and it just hurt. Just hurt so bad. I started squirming and really squeezing Chayse's hand (because he's the best and has let me do whatever damage to his hand I deem necessary). Then the song ends and I look at Chayse. Then the nurse begins to plead for my forgiveness and says she needs to use the other arm. As this is happening the phlebotomist comes in needing to see how well my blood clots. At one point pricking my finger was the biggest health concern and hurdle I had ever had in my life. I hardly felt the prick and then she is squeezing to test the clotting but my sweaty, clammy hands wouldn't allow it. She felt terrible as well and then it was all up to the nurse to get this IV right. Or I think I'm heading home. They ask what the next song is and apparently they enjoyed some Maroon 5 along with me. The IV got put in and the phlebotomist used that to get her blood. Check. I clot nicely.

Next up is the doctor. A man of few words enjoyed my needle message and then he says that it looks like I need some anxiety meds and the nurse gets that going. Soon he's gone and another nurse comes in to collect me. This was probably my most dreadfully anticipated moment. I just didn't want to be separated from Chayse but he was not allowed back there. They pretended to let me have some say in the music (pandora top country) and got to work. First up was the port placement. This was creepy to me and the whole conscious sedation made me nervous as well. But, thankfully, there was no conscious in the whole thing. I do remember noticing there were 3 male nurse assistants for the doctor and one female in this large room. Do know I have NEVER been to a hospital other than for a baby up until this point. All my ideas are coming from tv. But it was a very large, clean looking room with people moving around and just chatting. I do know that the male nurse that collected me had a Bama badge holder from his brother's LDS mission to Birmingham, so I had to mention Andrew (my brother) working down there and asked him about the recent loss to Auburn. Just had to. Not that I follow much football with all that is going on around me these days, but you do need to keep up.

But they washed off the port site and then made a covering of sorts so I didn't see a thing should I be awake. Welp, that's the last I remember. Chayse told me later that was about all I could talk about and told him the same story a handful of times, always remembering to mention the amount of male nurses. Oh man. That just makes me laugh. Flash forward in time, I assume a few hours, and I am waking up and somehow choosing things to eat. Then I remember biting into some pork and having some sun chips...then needing to let it come back out. I puked in the tray that keeps the food warm when they bring it up from the kitchen. Then I puked in those blue bag things. Then Chayse comes in with some anti-nausea meds I am supposed to stick under my tongue to dissolve and calm me down. My next memory is being wheeled out to the van and sitting up on the couch. No clue if I ate again. Oh, yes, there was some bread involved later. And I also know Julianna came by to chat, but I was coherent enough to not repeat myself to her. Come to find out...I relayed the same stories I had been repeating to Chayse but she was only there long enough to hear everything once!!

Kim was also in and out and there was a bath going on upstairs followed by stories. Then Kim snuck out (I remember hearing a door shut!) and Chayse came down and asked what show I wanted to watch. Then my next memory was getting in bed and sleeping until the sun came up!! To fill in some blanks, I watched two episodes of Shooter and commented while it was going on. I also brushed my teeth and tucked myself in after prayers and scriptures.

I am slightly shocked at how unaware I was after the surgery. Sure, it was supposedly a routine and normal procedure. But I was not there at all. This also makes me pleased with myself that I haven't put anything inside my body that would alter my state of mind and not be able to remember what I had done the night before. Sure, I don't have the best memory. But to have others tell me what happened was something I had never experienced. I am thankful I listened to my parents and never took of any drugs or alcohol that would impair my judgement. Because I was NOT aware of anything after going into surgery with all my male nurses (bahahaha). What a blessing it is to have a pretty healthy body.