CHEMO #5!!

Tuesday February 6

morning shennigans

Oh, what a day. I ran off with Chayse nice and early to get my steps in for the day. I must admit, some days, like today, I work out to beat Chayse's sister Shay in steps. Most of the time it's for my health. But I do like winning at some things. It felt good to sweat and get the day rolling.

I needed to be at the clinic by 10:30 for my blood draw. They do a complete CBC panel and make sure I'm in the clear. Check! At 11 was my appointment with Dr Reese. I am enjoying him more and more as treatment goes on. He is very attentive and listens to any questions we may have. I must say, I think I missed the part when he told us how long this would take..more on that later. I was focused on the side effects, what to do, if they would eventually wear off.

Like the numbness. I have the opportunity to lose feeling in my hands and feet with this drug. So to slow this possibility down I have ice bags on my hands and feet to slow the drug from getting to my extremities and keep it in other areas. This is easier said than done!

terrible shot of my Attivo Active wear!

He also mentioned the aches and how bad they can be. I don't really believe him, but it could be the case. I was a bit achey at the beginning of the last drugs. He prescribe me hydrocodon and says to pick it up in case it is needed. Hopefully not because I do want to be aware of my kids. And those pain meds usually make me sleepy and useless. I laugh inside and figure I'd be able to manage with tylenol for pain, but get Chayse to pick it up regardless.

Lastly, Dr Reese asked if I was at the gym this morning. SURE WAS! So he was there also. Guess it's hard to miss a shiny bald lady on the stairs. haha

I also asked about scans (after chemo is done) and we talked about my genetic testing. This plays a big part into surgery. If I was positive for the BRCA 1&2 genes they would have recommended to remove some female organs to help with not getting that cancer. BUT I came back NEGATIVE for every single known cancerous gene (I had them test 80 that have a pathway for testing if they find a mutated gene). NEGATIVE. This means I am not the 10% of genetic breast cancer. Or the 85% of the hormone breast cancers. I am a random 5% or less of the environmental breast cancer I happen chanced upon. I guess it's good news. Well great that I don't have any mutated genes. But just interesting on how I got breast cancer. Crazy. Crazy.

The happy times during chemo!

Back to the day. #5. I was cleared and headed over to the infusion room. Chayse came back with me to the back of the room. Cassie was also in the waiting room and headed back with us so Chayse headed out. Got hooked up to the pole and they started me on dexamethasone for the pukes, then some benadryl for any side effects. Cass and I were chatting and overhead some "entertaining" comments from the older couple beside us. At first I had no clue what was going on. Until we listened a bit closer...Oh the conversations had between older couples (at least 60) and the nurses. Slightly. No, VERY entertaining!! Then the premeds were done and we found out the chemotherapy would last a good THREE HOURS!!! Before the meds were about 90 minutes. So I assumed the Taxol wouldn't last as long. Nope. It's double!! (I could have chosen to do 12 weeks of a lower dose, but no thank you!) I was in shock and Cassie had to head out. She offered to find someone to come and visit me so I said yes. I was just in shock at the time and couldn't think of people that didn't have children coming home at 3 and could visit me.

Just as she went out the door, I started to feel funny. The taxol goes in so close to my mouth, it was just tasting a bit strange. My face didn't feel like my face anymore. I waved down the nurses and just tried to explain myself. Then my nerves I'd been having during the appointments started to flare. I didn't know what was going on with my belly, and then I quickly waved for a puke bag and barely got it on time. I lost everything from that morning and just started to feel really crummy. Just terrible. I got a flu-like issue after my very first treatment. But this was much worse. Just crummy and terrible. I wanted to go home. But nope; we are just getting started!

checking the vitals. barely holding my ice packs

I had to wait 15-20 minutes until everything calmed down. They also quickly pushed some MORE benadryl for the reactions and then some atavan to calm my stomach to make it quit contracting. Atavan is also a sleeping drug if used properly. So now I have three doses of sleepy meds. THREE! Once I get hooked back up to the taxol I put on a show and end up passing out. Chayse comes by and gets a lovely photo of me. Oh wow, I look terrible! Then my Relief Society President (our women's group leader at church) came by with 3 delicious plain bagels to much on and some juice. Chayse wakes me up for her visit and heads out. It was so nice to chat with Gina. Well. I know she came. I know I smiled. But otherwise...no clue about our conversation. And no picture either!! Bummer!! I am glad she came and ministered to me during that time. I am thankful for wonderful church leaders who give so much of their time, for no pay, to help those they are over.

dead asleep at home. tears came during the pukes
and the eye shadow makeup went haywire

Once Gina left, I put back in my headphones and watched another few minutes and then mom came by for the last part to bring me home. Seems issues were growing at work and needed to be dealt with and Chayse couldn't come back. So I am glad he sent mom in for back up! I didn't leave chemo until 5 and was just a pile of mess!! The kids did have playgroup from 12:30-2:30 at Karen's house today. And then Kayla came over to get Zane and Zoey for another 2 hours to play and brought them home after doing so. I haven't a clue what Lux did after she got home. Or Pippa for that matter.

I do know Kimmie brought me dinner and I was so out of it. I loved her bright red shoes and her smile. She sat listening so closely. But that's all I know. The kindness and love shown to me from today. I was so drugged I had no clue what was going on. I ate some of the soup, then laid back on the couch. I made it to my bed somehow. And then woke up the next morning. Basically I was on sleeping meds and THEY WORKED! Wahoooo!! Because ever since I started chemo I have not slept well. At all. I wake for bathroom breaks. Dry mouth. Drinks. Candies to suck on. Children. Just a whole heap of reasons right now. The only nights I (usually) sleep are when I take NyQuil, Atavan or Tylenol PM. And with chemo there is a slight pass on the over indulgence of meds it seems. I am looking forward to retraining myself to sleep a solid 7-8 hours. Oooo that sounds nice!!

Also to note...Chayse left for Idaho Falls at 6:00 tonight. Wahoo. He'll be gone until Sunday. Doesn't that sound fabulous after a round of chemo?? Bahhhh!!!